What You’re Not

What You’re Not

You are not a failure.

You are a process. You are learning and growing. You are making mistakes. Mistakes do not equal failure. You may experience what you feel is a “failure” but you are not defined by it. You may “fail” countless times, but you are defined by how you keep going and keep trying.

You are not a bad person.

Maybe you have made some mistakes and done some really bad things, but that does not make you a bad person. There is no way to classify a person as good or bad. There are just individuals that perform a series of good and bad acts along their journey. The only thing you can do is try to perform more good acts and make more good choices than you have before. Maybe you’re not very patient, maybe you’re not empathetic. Despite this, you can keep trying to do better. You trying to do better is what defines you.

You are not better than anyone else.

You are not better than anyone else, and no one is better than you. Your circumstances, income, clothes, car, job title, etc. do not make you better than anyone. Even performing more acts of kindness than someone else still does not make you better than them. Everyone is in a unique circumstance in which you could never fully understand. Also, sometimes we compare our weakness to other’s strengths, our worst days with their best. Stop comparing, it does no good.

You are not awkward.

You may feel awkward from time to time. Your actions may occasionally cause a situation to feel awkward. But this happens to everyone. Awkwardness does not define you. Don’t let the fear of being awkward keep you from doing something you want to do.

You are not someone’s opinion of you.

People will think what they want about what you say, what you do, how you dress, etc. Who cares. Don’t waste your time trying to change others’ opinions or make others happy. What they think about you is their problem. Don’t focus on their opinions. Focus on your opinion of yourself. What are your goals to be better? What do you think about you?

You are not perfect.

Perfection is impossible to achieve and you will drive yourself mad by obsessively chasing it. Accept the fact that you will not be perfect. Your house will not be perfectly clean, kids won’t behave perfectly, your relationship with your spouse will never be perfect, a conversation you have will not go perfectly smoothly, you will never feel your appearance is perfection. Instead of aiming for perfection, try for a cleaner house, mostly well-mannered kids, a stronger relationship with your spouse, good conversation, a healthier appearance. Give yourself space to grow, to evolve, to become better.

You are not your past.

Things happen. Your past is filled with a series of events that you caused to happen, events that others caused to happen in your life, and events that just happened to you. Whatever cards you were dealt in your past does not determine how you can play the game of life now. Learn from the past, but embrace your life now. The wonderful gift we have as human beings is the power to build our lives how we want them to be. Whatever you want, you can work towards and obtain. Figure out how to do it. And be grateful for this day. Live in the moment. This day is such a blessing. Live now.

You are not what challenges you face.

Life probably didn’t just throw you curveballs in the past. My guess is that life is still throwing curveballs. Whatever challenges you are facing, do not let them stop you. They do not define you. What defines you is what you do despite the challenges you are facing. You may have a lot of reasons to be negative or to stay in bed. Don’t let those reasons win. How you act and what you accomplish despite what life’s throwing at you is what really determines who you are.

What else should NOT define you?

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